This is me

My name is Angelique Kolzewski and I was born in South Africa in 1995. My childhood was very different from what you know here in Germany. We lived on a farm and had lots of animals - dogs, horses, ducks, goats and much more. The country was beautiful and we were able to experience what freedom means.  There are 12 official languages in South Africa, which leads to a diversity of cultures. By working with the local people, we learned a lot about their culture, customs and traditions. These cultures are colorful and impressive, and what always fascinated me is how the people feel the rhythm of the music. As soon as music is played, their bodies move intuitively, as if the rhythm is part of them.

In 2017, I decided to go to Germany. As my mother is from Germany, we always had contact with the rest of the family. At the time, I was pregnant with my eldest daughter. The pregnancy was difficult. I was very scared and felt very alone. I suffered from severe postpartum depression, which lasted three months. I didn't dare to express my feelings because I was afraid that no one would believe me or that my child would be taken away from me. I suffered from severe depression, anxiety, mild panic attacks and suicidal thoughts for a long time. After a year of parental leave, I started my vocational training. During this time, I learned to largely switch off my emotions to protect myself, and for a while I was able to cope better with everyday life. Then I received confirmation that I was pregnant again. Unexpectedly, not planned and with twins, my world collapsed.

This pregnancy brought all the old fears and worries back to the surface. I considered the option of abortion several times.  In a roundabout way, I met my midwife. She is a true angel. She treated me with incredible patience, care and love. I am convinced that without her help I would not have managed to bring these two little creatures into this world healthy and safe. Some angels don't have wings, but they leave light wherever they go. Through them I learned to get my life back on track. The transformation I went through was so profound and multifaceted that I almost can't put it into words.

A few months after the birth of my twins, my grandfather passed away. My grandfather was a loving man who accepted and loved his family unconditionally. For us as a family, it was absolutely natural that he was cared for and accompanied by us at home, in familiar surroundings, until his last breath. This first hands-on end-of-life care was another profound experience for me. Many nights I sat at his bedside to talk to him about his life, his worries and fears. I realized how incredibly important end-of-life care is for the person concerned, but also for the people left behind. He was able to pass away quietly and peacefully in his sleep.

More than two years have now passed. And for me, it has been two years of intense transformation and personal growth. There were many challenging phases that also showed me how important shadow work is. I also realized how important it is to accept and love yourself unconditionally.

Today I am full of joie de vivre and energy. I have gained a new, positive outlook on life and am infinitely grateful to everyone who has accompanied me on this journey. There have been many ups and downs, but today I know that I was never alone.

With this new zest for life and energy, I go out with the vision of helping other people to restore a balance between man and Mother Earth, between feminine and masculine power and between body, mind and soul.” My motto is: “Be the change you wish to see in this world.” - Mahatma Gandhi.

Feel hugged, dearest soul